I was driving my way back home from lunch with Hubs whilst listening to a modern rendition of
"Tiru Macam Saya" on the radio.
Let's just say it gave me a harsh/rude wake-up call.
It was my first time listening to the song. Once hearing the clear warning/reminder/ lyrics of the song, pucat jugak. Orang dulu no joke, tunes, music and all sound jolly but the words...fuhh...pedas and direct!
Here are the lyrics:
Pandanglah, lihatlah,
Rupaku yang cantik dan
rambutku yang ikal,
marilah tuan-tuan dan nyonya
Sama-samalah pandang
perempuan yang cantik bikin hati goyang
Pandanglah, lihatlah
pinggang ku yang ramping
dan dadaku yang bidang
Inilah selalu menjadikan
Orang hilanglah akal
rumahtangga tak kekal
Gilakan bayangkan
Perempuan kalau tak pandai jaga badan
suaminya tentu lekas menjadi bosan
mengerbang rambut macam hantu dalam hutan
suami memandang hampir pengsan
Perempuan kalau sayangkan suaminya
Pandang sini, hai tirulah seperti saya
jaga bentuk,
jaga kulit dan jaga rupa
Senyum sayang kau berikan dia
Pandanglah...lihatlah....tiru macam saya........
Whoaaaa...
Sampai rumah terus watsapp suami, minta maaf for my "selekehness" at the moment. Delving in my books most of the time, I've been tying my hair so tight to discourage unruly hair but it doesn't seem to work. Just this morning I was telling my Hubs how I wanted to shave my whole head so that I wouldn't have to go through the hassle of managing my unruly hair. Huarghhhh! To make it worse, I tie it in "bunjut" style most of the time these days because of the heat.
My clothes? Nowadays I don't venture beyond my T-shirts and simple blouses with jeans/slacks. Boring I know.
I proceeded to assure him that I have not let myself go. Just that right now I'm a bit confused with my fashion sense suitable with my now slightly overweight body. Most of the time I get disappointed when shopping and not being able to get the right size or a nice fit.
That, however, is being remedied with my consistent (most of the time) gym sessions. Thank god I still stick to my facial regimes. My hair though, thought it best to do it after my exams, but balik rumah tadi terus ask friends for recommendation in nearby area as my usual hairdresser is closing the branch nearby and moving to Publika. Definitely paying them a visit soon.
It's no easy job being a woman. So many expectations and burdens are imposed on us. Kena jaga looks, badan, laki, anak, rumah, masak, clean, career, etc. Even, perhaps, after meeting all those, ada ajer pihak yang use religious justifications to demean a woman's efforts or accuse you less of a mother,wife, etc. because of not meeting certain aspects to their personal standards. Frust jugak yer.
My response on using religious justifications...it's time to stop. I am no expert but I don't recall the Qur'an stating gender specific roles on us. In fact, if ever, those cherry picking, know that it's the Westerners whom had imposed such generic roles. Husband= Bring Home Bacon, Wife= Homemaker. I recall whilst attending our Kursus Kahwin, the Ustadz and Ustazah explained how big this misconception is.
I, personally believe, that you are to reach as far and to your fullest potential. Never stop.
On not meeting others' standards? They are not you. You are not them. Keep yourself happy. It's not about you pleasing others. They pandai komen ajer so lantak okay. You know what's best. Each has their own pace.
Yes, senang cakap, susah nak buat when you have external factors persuading you otherwise. Try your best is all I can say.
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