Tuesday, 19 March 2013

The Bride-Race

To date, preparations for my engagement and solemnization ceremonies as well as the reception are well underway. There are more to be done but at least things are moving and some duties have been delegated. Two separate checklists have been drafted to monitor the engagement and solemnization ceremonies. Meetings with aunts and uncles as well contacts with MUAs, tukang inai, photographers and dais designers have been conducted and established. Things to put as hantaran have also been surveyed. Wedding blogs have been read for ideas. Alhamdulillah. I am very much thankful for supportive aunts and uncles as well as my Boyfie's strong emotional support.

Reflecting the time between the proposal and the time plans are well laid out, it was horrendous. My naivete gave the idea that the bride-to-be only worries about her dress and more or less enjoyed the preparations. Having practicality in mind, I told myself to prioritise five things only and let the others go. I am not expecting a perfect out-of-the-top wedding of the year, but after eight years of courtship, I want to at least be well prepared. I don't even care about the invitations...serious!!!

"Cakap mulut ker...nak potong manila card ker...don't mind"...was what I told my friend one day. Her face registered shock of course but seriously, why spend so much on cards people are going to throw away. If things were my way, I would have just ask my bro to design a digital invitation and go green.

In the first few weeks of post-proposal, I was not contemplating theme colours and what not. To the contrary, I was planning what colour the walls in my kitchen will be, what kind of oven and fridge I want. It's the post-marriage that counts right? Then 'IT' sunk in...nobody is helping me with the prep. No planning or any sort of discussions were taking place. Demmm...

Then came the time to get both sides to meet. It took a few weeks to get everyone's time especially my father who's very much busy with his campaigning. Alhamdulillah the discussion took off well and everybody liked the venue chosen to have the informal meet up. Dates were set, number of dulangs were discussed and processes were established. You would think that should offer a reprieve to the already-slightly-stressed-bride-to-be...Arghhh... WRONG!

"Yang, no need to have reception lar"

"Yang, kawin in mahkamah with two saksi cukup ar"

"YANG...KAWIN LARI AJERLAAA!!"

Poor Boyfie having to face my rantings. Everyday, the absurdity of ways for us to get hitch became even more absurd. I swear I felt, and literally was, soooo alone until Boyfie and I actually had a sit down with my Aunty E. Alhamdullillah, only then finally things were moving and surprisingly many of my aunts and uncles were excited to help. One of my sister, H, is already contemplating what cake to bake and put on the dulang. Friends were there too providing motivational and emotional support.

My message to all bride-to-be's who's feeling alone and overwhelmed, prepare to be your own strength. Take all of it in stride and face it head on. Do not expect everything to be perfect. When you are practical and already anticipate for things to be not perfect, stick to your list and the controls to mitigate any risks. Feel like crying? Cry hard and then move on. When you do feel alone, pray and syukur you still have family members, relatives and friends whom are willing to step in. Key is to prepare, prepare and prepare. Then delegate. All will need direction to avoid duplication of work and clear line of duties. Don't leave things to the last minute. Remember that you're not the only one getting married on your chosen date. Have back-ups. Leave the stragglers behind. Once you get that done, you can finally breathe...More stress to come but let it go. Just list out your five priorities and stick to it.

Here are some quotes to be used as affirmations in your time of need:

  1. "Murder is not an option"
  2. "This is no time to go ape-shit"
  3. "May the force be with you"...

If all fails, just go to the spa...